The ongoing post(s) HERE at the Singapore Bikers Forum has proven to be rather interesting so far. Due to the large number of posts, SAMedia Publications was unable to extract most of them to be shown here, but the contents in essence mainly teach a GUY how to please a GIRL, understand [or attempt to understand] her, and win her heart. However, while most of the posts written carry a varying degree of truth, they largely mislead the guy to think that the roles have really been reversed since the start of the 21st century. For a start, experts at SamHub Linguistics have extracted certain points worthy of discussion and took a stand here. Here's some of the reasons why you should believe SAMedia Publications more than the things written in the forum:

1. There is no legal or social obligation surrounding the guy to please the girl.
Remember that you are not obliged to please the girl. Pleasing her or making her happy is just a form of gratification for yourself, so that you might feel the illusion that you achieved something. But you did not. Just like masturbation, u feel high after u orgas, but it only lasts this long. And u don't do it every minute of the day. Your dick may not take it too well.

2. Communication is a two way thing.
Girls think men make bad listeners. But they themselves are no better. Let's face it. We're all selectively deaf. Just like a guy can't take digest all that girly talk, so can't a girl accept stories about army and soccer (unless she's a regular or regular punter). Until both parties are ready to begin the process listening, only then can communication exist. Otherwise the widespread practice of limpeh-talk-and-u-better-fucking-listen, also known as lecture, is best left to professors in classes.

3. All men (less gays and 302) need SEX.
This is an understatement. All human beings need SEX. The only difference is that gays and 302's do it from behind.

4. All women (including lesbians) need SEX.
Whether it's fingers or dildos [for lesbians] or the standard styles, it's the same. Every girl wants SEX. They only do not admit to it. Or maybe they're too shy to. But they still need it.

5. Women have periods because Eve ate the entire apple.
Having periods does NOT guarantee a girl extraordinary rights to sulk, throw tantrums, and stop work. The existence of extra long winged pads bears testimony that girls can continue to live normally during their periods. (Cycling, jumping, swimming, etc) If a girl tells you she doesn't like having periods, tell her that you don't like your adam's apple either. Why say that? Because Adam took a bite, remembered God's warning and choked on that piece of apple, while Eve ate the entire apple. So every month the body has to rid the remmants of the apple. Ever noticed the color of the discharge resembles the color of an apple?

6. Mother-girlfriend alliances only scare mummy's boys.
Mother-girlfriend alliances are dumb. At best, they piss the guy off into doing something he doesnt want to do. Otherwise, they're hardly an effective approach unless u're dealing with a momma's boy. If a guy doesnt really bother with listening to everything his momma says, then there's a even less chance he'll listen to the girl who goes onto the same frequency as momma.

7. Shouting is for rape, molest, snatch theft, and soliciting.
If a girl shouts in public, its either she's going to be raped, molested, or her handbag has been snatched, or she's soliciting. If a girl shouts at a guy in public, not only is she malu-ing herself, she isn't giving that guy any face at all. And the guy will take the most sensical approach when dealing with crazy women: blend into the crowd and disappear, leaving the girl behind to

8. Begging is for beggars.
Don't beg for a blowjob. Strike a compromise. At most both parties goes south.

9. If sweet talk moves you, you're hopeless.
Sweet talk are just a whole pack of lies packaged to sound nice to the ear. If you can't differentiate between the truth and the lie, or you have to be motivated by a horde of sweet talk to work, you are hopeless. You work because you want to achieve something useful to mankind, not because your ear needs sugar.

10. If sorry was a cure, HIV patients would be saved. And the world a better place.
Which explains why the world is so fucked up. Don't say sorry. Sorry no cure. Do something to salvage the situation. Sorry is just a lie packaged in an apologetic way. Actions speak louder than words. If you think there are no other actions that can be done, then just shut up and walk away. If she still wants you she'll come chasing after u.

11. Listening too much makes you poor.
If you find yourself being relegated to the role of a listener, remind yourself that psychologists charge $300/hr to do exactly the same. Free labour? I'd rather be paid.

12. Respect is earned, not given or demanded.
This infamous phrase resonates within each military force without fail. If the girl demands that you respect her for who she is, u know what to say. Respect has to start with oneself. If a girl thinks that a guy banging around the place or having one-night stands is not respecting the girl, tell her that the girl herself doesnt deserve it in the first place. It's mutual.

13. Anger doesnt work. Violence does.
Getting pissed with a girl only makes her insecure. Then she'll be pissed at you for being pissed at her, which makes u even more pissed cos she made all the piss look as though they all came from u. Pissing is for wimps who don't dare to raise their fists or piss in their pants when fists are raised. Violence may not settle the problem, but it determines who is the boss and who speaks and who listens.

14. All women are emotional and indecisive.
It has been scientifically proven that women are emotional creatures. This is bad, considering that all important and crucial decisions have to be made using the brains, and not the heart, it is little wonder why girls are so fickle minded and why they end up in regret so often. Ever had a girl tell you that she's all decided and she'll stand by her decision only to tell you in five months time that it was all a wrong move? That's why women should not hold managerial and executive positions.

15. The perfect guy is gay.
Period.

16. Girls are unable to speak direct to the point.
They beat around the bush, or drop hints, but they just can't get straight to the point. They expect that a guy will definitely catch the hint, or at best even understand what the hint is all about. In a neutral environment, even when coming directly to the point, there is a significant chance that the listener may not grasp the intended meaning from the speaker, as studies of the concept of communication will prove. Why hint? Are there any prizes for guessing correctly?

17. Don't tell a GIRL you like her on the first date.
Unless of course you're an idiot. But from a different perspective, that could be the sure way to frighten off a girl whom you don't like after discovering more about her.

18. Body language is not a language.
Not everyone can decipher the clues derived from observing another person's body language. The classical example is that a girl who wears revealing clothes and walks seductively is not necessary a prostitute. The study of body language is actually an art. It is an art that not many people can master. Even so, why is there a need to analyse body language? so that we'll get clues? and hints? If girls can just come straight to the point, then so many guys will have less brain damage trying to second guess what the girl wants. Body language only enhances an interpersonal message to be transmitted. It does not replace the message.

19. Compromise is not an option.
We were wrong about compromising for a blowjob. You should instead get one at Geylang for $40/- if the girl refuses. We apologise for the error.

20. Real Men fear rejection????
This controversial statement cannot be analysed because it's content is too vague. If a person fears rejection, he/she would not have chosen to take a chance in the first place. Anyone who wants to take a chance should be mentally prepared to be turned down. Real Men can accept rejection gracefully and move on. Real Men simply move on to the next girl and tries his luck again, until he succeeds. Then the girls will regret rejecting the Real Man. Wimps will cry over spilt milk.

21. The past contains valuable lessons.
Just like why we study history in school, and how we learn from the past, anyone telling you to just bury the past without extracting the lessons and learning them fully would himself be haunted by the past in due time. As far as the individual is concerned, the past played a vital role in shaping his/her personality and that while we may let go and stop clinging onto the past, we can never fully bury it. Learn from the past. Don't make the same old stupid mistake, for no one will forgive or pity u if u do so.

22. Just fucking be youself.
Being yourself is important, mainly because you do not want your partner to fall in love with your mask. Well of course there are certain people who put on a mask to make friends, only to have that mask stuck to their face forever and ever amen. There are also people who have survived a freefall and the ebola virus. However, in both cases the odds are not that good. The truth is, u don't want a girl leaving u after u show your true self, u've gotta be yourself. But if we all be ourselves, the government may not be that happy because a lot of people will end up being single and unmarried. However, being yourself is better in the sense that u wont have to stress yourself trying to be who u aren't.

23. Mr Nice is also gay.
Period.

24. Most women are financially orientated.
If a girl tells you that she doesnt expect you to spend money on her, she's lying. If a girl tells you she would rather go dutch, she's lying. If a girl tell you it is not right for a guy to pay for her, she's lying. Ask yourself this question: Which girl doesnt want to be an aspiring tai-tai? And being a tai-tai means not having to work while having to spend money whole day long. So where does all that money come from? Even if she doesnt want to be a tai-tai, which girl wants to work until she's 62? Girls nowadays claim to be financially independent, but they are not. The truth is, they spend almost as much as they earn, if not even more than they earn. Which explains why some girls work as social escorts. Every girl will look at the financial status of a guy before considering to go any further with him. If a girl tells you that she doesnt have to depend on a guy for financial support because it's the 21st century and roles have reversed, ask her if she's willing to work till 62 to support u while u laze at home to do the housework and jagar the kids. (There's the maid anyway, so why worry? u'll be playing mahjong whole day long)

25. There is no such thing as pure love.
As long as money is involved, love is never pure. The love that God has for us is pure love. Jesus died on the cross because He loved us all sinners. That's pure love.

26. Girls cry because they're emotional.
Many girls assume that their tears are a lethal weapon. But it isn't. Tears serve initially as an indicator, afterwhich they become irritating. At the beginning, they act to indicate if the girl is feeling hurt or sad. After which the effect decreases tremendously. If a girl uses her tears as a threat, let her cry. For one, guys don't like cry babies. Two, she can't cry for long either. This is how babies are trained. Once u leave them alone and they realise that the tears don't work, they'll stop automatically.

27. Naggy girls = saggy boobs
Finally we connected the link between this two. Although we have yet to establish a scientific link between this two, recent surveys have concluded that naggy women generally fall between the age group of 35-90, similar to the results for saggy boobs.

28. Jealousy is a sin
All men are equal. There is no basis for comparison. From dust we were formed, to dust we will return. To be jealous of another person is a sin, because it is evidence of an overindulgence in materialism. You should not be jealous that someone else had someone else and u didnt have this someone else because that someone else got that someone else first. Becos u once had the chance but u let it go. So it's your fault. If u didnt had the chance, then blame it on fate. Don't have don't have la! wats the big deal? Most importantly, u shd not exploit on jealousy to win over a girl. The girl who migrates over to you becos she's jealous will move away once a better guy comes along. And the one who exploits this sin carries the greater guilt.

29. Girls have insecurities that cannot be secured.
We feel insecure because we're afraid that something will go wrong and plague us in the future. However, with careful planning and a good decision making policy, we can eliminate most of the probability from the equation and the insecurities that come along with it. However, as mentioned, be it concerning financial or emotional insecurity, most girls, having poor decision making processes, coupled with their emotional nature, tend to be more impulsive and thus resulting in insecurities. Don't bother to try solve them, especially if they are of the materialistic kind. Just keep reassuring the girl that her insecurities are unfounded, until u can't take it anymore and dump her for being so fucking insecure.

Editor's note:
There has already been a previous excerpt on THE TRUTH ABOUT GIRLS published in the SamHub Times on 05 May 2004, which has since been archived. You may still access that archived article by clicking HERE at no charge or you can navigate to the archives column on the right and look for the archive dated 05 May 2004.


--extracted from the SamHub Times, SAMedia Publications, dated 160405