Contrary to popular belief, being entitled to stay out while serving NS does not enhances one's ability to maintain a relationship. Researchers at SamLabs Technologies have determined this after conducting a series of experiments that lasted a total of two and a half years on more than 3000 recruits. The results show that popular belief was, once again, being proved wrong.

In the lab report produced by Dr Zhu Zai Jia, Chief Researcher of SamLabs Technologies BURT Project, 3527 persons took part in the experiment and the breakup rate of 95% between the proportion of stay out personnel and stay in personnel was observed to be consistent and approximately equivalent. The statistics does not include multiple breakups between the same couple; those who broke up but got together again after enlistment also do not contribute to the total count.

Dr Zhu summarises the findings in one short and sweet sentence: "Time is not a critical breakup determinant." In fact, his team was able to re-prove that the amount of time spent with a GIRL does not affect the probability of breakup, thus validating the breakthrough equation formulated by Professor CS Chan on 20 Mar 2004.

The experiment results are as follows:

Number of participants experimented on: 3527

Number of participants attached at time of enlistment: 1887 (53.5%)

Number of participants entitled to stay out (>1yr): 446 (12.6%)

Number of breakups encountered (excluding multiple): 1793 (95%)

Number of breakups involving stay out personnel: 410 (92%)

Number of participants attached when they ORD: 1455 (41.2%)

The report also included an interesting observation from the results. Of the 1455 who are attached at the end of the experiment, approximately 35% of them were single at the point of enlistment. This translates to 500 or more GUYS who managed to get themselves hitched without being ditched, while a significant number of unfortunate souls got ditched and that's it. Dr Zhu explains that the main reason for this could be that the GIRLS are getting sick of the faggots in their faculty and decide once again to tap on their network of guys, of which most of them are serving time in the SAF.

In essence, this experiment serves to reinforce the theory that SAMedia Publications has been trying to hardsell to all GUYS that only 5% of the GIRLS u see in the streets are faithful and u can be 95% sure that your GIRL does not fall within that 5%. "When u bear this in mind," says Dr Zhu after much contemplation, "u know u can safely finish that can of Tiger u bought from the mess for $1.20 and sleep soundly knowing that your girl will continue to run away even if u are with her 24/7 but your Tiger still retails at $1.20 per can until u ORD."

--extracted from the SamHub Times, SAMedia Publications, dated 020105