A widespread public outcry erupted since SAMedia Publications mentioned that the REAL princess is Jolin Tsai. Demonstrators numbering by the thousands took to the streets protesting against the recent publication in the SamHub Times dated 22 SEP 2004. SAMedia agents inflitrated the ranks of these rioters and made several shocking discoveries.

Dr Kuah Ta Poh, Director of the Kingdom Network News Broadcast Control Central Base (KNNBCCB) said in a statement which was aired throughout his KNNBCCB network: "We at KNNBCCB always ensure our staff check for factual accuracies before making a report. SAMedia Publications have violated Golden Rule Number One when they erred by declaring Jolin Tsai to be the REAL Princess. This is why there are widespread demonstrations."

Earlier today SAMedia Director Mr Leumas de la Corque made a clarification speech regarding this issue at the inaugural address of SamLabs Technologies Tower Foxtrot. He reiterated SAMedia's stand of freedom of press and the right to each and every individual's thought. "All of SAMedia's staff concur that Jolin Tsai is the REAL princess," indicated Mr Leumas. "It so happened that everyone in SAMedia Publications agreed that Jolin's the REAL princess, so we let it into print."

SAMedia agents reported that of the 125,000 demonstrators who took to the streets, approximately 23,761 are extras employed by Jac and Jac Pte Ltd, another 24,543 are supporters of Fish Leong, while some 34,899 are S.H.E supporters. The remaining 41,787 are forced into the demonstrations by their own 'princesses', who threatened the victims with a breakup if they did not comply. The list does not include ten SAMedia agents who are currently providing live feed of the events occuring.

When asked why they decided to make the protest public, Fish supporter Ms Kim Long Yu, 22, said: "Because Fish Leong cute mah! u never see her new album meh? So pretty!" Another Fish supporter, Ms Luo Han Yu, 24, said that she doesnt think Jolin is pretty. "She looks fake," commented Ms Luo. "I can do better than her." No S.H.E supporter could not be reached for comment, as they were under strict orders to maintain silence from the press.

Currently, SAMedia is not taking any action to remedy the situation. Rumours have it that SAMedia is ready to turn the 41,787 who are compelled to protest against their princesses. SAMedia spokesperson Mr Maschan van Corquenaden denied other press reports saying that SamLabs Technologies workers were seen importing hundreds of pretty girls from Batam and Bintan. He also denied that SamHub Banking Corporation is in the process of negotiating a higher price than Jac and Jac Pte Ltd in an attempt turn the mercenaries at their former employers.

In other news, ardent supporters of Jolin Tsai continue to beseige HMV Records in retaliation of the street protests, denying anyone from exiting the place unless they have bought an original Jolin Tsai album. Lt. Col Lin Yee Chai, Commanding Officer of the forces holding seige, said that all proceeds from the sale will go to a charity of their choice.


Supporters received a morale boost when Jolin Tsai visited them earlier yesterday.

--extracted from The SamHub Times, SAMedia Publications, dated 031104