Three undergrads at the National University of SamHub (NUSH) have explored the issue of gender equality and concluded that gender equality is never possible. The research, done as part of their final year project, was sponsored by SamHub Technologies Ltd and has so impressed lecturers that each of them are recommended for the SAMedia Excellence Award (SEA). SAMedia Publications is honoured to provide exclusive media support for their project.

Team leader Mr Chin Boh Liao, 23, told SAMedia that the group decided upon the theme for this project because "social issues are most outstanding and neglected". The group, which named themselves as the Gender Inequality Research League (GIRL), expressed concern at the growing prowress of females. Said Mr Chin, "For many decades feminists have been campaigning for gender equality and feminine rights, but how could they have completely missed the fact males are totally different from females?"

Several classic examples were quoted in their project, including the great remark made by the late artist Leumaschanangelo De Sammabache (1813 - 1869), "The female nude is a perfect work of art by nature, the male outright disgusting." De Sammabache, while he was alive, maintained that the male reproduction organ is most offensive and unsightly. In his autobiography titled Gimme ma life ya Leumaschananeglo he wrote that "boobs were a symbol of fertility and erotica, but dicks just reminiscene of raw ugliness." (Sammabache, et al, 1873)

The project has several radical propositions in it. Mr Angkat Bin Bola, 22, indicated to SAMedia that it "already is four, coming five years into the 21st century". No longer is it fashionable to be masculine, defended Mr Bola, who suggested that wearing green caps could be the trend for this millenium. "Roles have changed," he commented, while adjusting his green songkoh. "Females have so much power in today's society that they are the shaping force behind the economy. Besides, the law protects them too."

Mr Bola was referring in particular to the Woman's Charter and the [absence of] abortion laws in Singapore, which permitted females of any age to undergo abortion at their own discretion. "In the past, laws were there to protect women, but they have now been a little too overprotective," remarked Mr Chin, who demanded equal laws protecting males from being dunked and dumped, and in particular, the age limit for admission into certain social entertainment centers to be either raised to 23 for both sexes or reduced to 18. "Makes no sense that a GIRL at 18 is equivalent in maturity to a GUY at 23," Mr Bola pointed out. "It's absurd."

In fact, as the group argues in their project, it is not even fair from an economic perpective. "Females are given more opportunity at employment, both officially and unofficially," says Mr Chay Bo Kang, 24, who insisted that there are so many jobs that females can undertake which males cannot. "They also start work earlier than males," Mr Chay continued, indicating that the two years females save from NS is crucial, if not critical in establishing a foothold in the REAL world. "There are so many job available exclusively only to females," implied Mr Chay, himself preducted to face tremendous difficulty securing employment after graduation. "Have you seen any racing kings?"

The group was only just short of explicitly stating that females can seek to make a living entirely by offering their "extra services". However, it was clearly denoted on the flowchart that GIRL released to the press as a summary of their efforts. This implication, without surprise, incurred the wrath of the many feminist organisations which denounced the project as chauvinistic, and attempted to seize all copies of the flowchart. SamHub Security Forces promptly dealt with the ensuing melée, but managed to rescue just one copy of the flowchart. The other 29,999,999 copies were destroyed. No one was hurt in the ensuing chaos.

--extracted from the SamHub Times, SAMedia Publications, dated 231104