Statistics have shown that close to 95% of all break-ups between couples aged 17-21 is due to the GIRL. SAMedia reports that a large proportion of break-ups came about when the GIRL succumbs to temptation in university (mainly NUS and NTU) from the ORD-personnel. Researchers have found that ORD-personnel are generally richer, more mature, got car can drive, and have much more time and energy on hand than non ORD-personnel to spend on the GIRL. As quoted from Dr. LaM PaH cHeE, associate professor for the BURT (Break- Up Research Team), "ORD-personnel have been deprived of what they rightfully deserve for 2yrs and 4 months. Therefore, it turns out to be no surprise that they give no second thought to committing himself to a GIRL, even if she is attached to some poor soul suffering in the SAF." He also adds that some, if not most of these ORD-personnel have experienced the same thing when they were still non ORD-personnel. "It could be this thought of revenge that spurs them on," comments Dr. Lam. The other professor, Dr. Wah Bo Lui, agrees with Dr. Lam but has his own theory to prove. Says Dr. Wah: "GIRLS are emotional creatures, and they need to be cared for and loved. Hence the absence of the GUY results in a weakness in the GIRL's heart, which, if another GUY, especially the ORD-personnel, comes along and gives the GIRL what she needs at that moment, the GIRL will defect, even though she still loves the GUY alot." A substantial number of non ORD-personnel have fiercely supported Dr. Wah's theory. They recently held a parade in Pulau Tekong protesting against the GIRLS and chanting "WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO WRONG THIS TIME". While some analysists dismissed the parade as being extremist, they remarked that it is a vicious cycle that will never end until the GOVERNMENT does something about it. As Mr. Kar Nee Nah, top analysist at the IFR (Institute of Failed Relationships), puts it bluntly: " Unless the CHENG WOO lets them ORD within 4 months of enlistment, you can be sure that 95% of them will experience a failed relationship." However, 3SG Lee Buay Kan, told SAMedia, that he was doing very fine with his GIRL and he has no enemity with the ORD-personnel. "I'm going to become a ORD- personnel soon! And my GIRL is still with me." exclaimed 3SG Lee. Critics say that 3SG Lee is the minority and tabloids report that 3SG Lee's GIRL is in a course where the ORD-personnel are sparse and spastic. "In the end, it is the GUY who get hurt." says Mr. Bo Lan Jiao. "They put in so much and this is what they get. It is really not worth it." Mr. Bo advises all BOYS reaching the age of 17 not to get into a relationship and wait patiently till they ORD. "Why give first when you can take as much as you can after you ORD?" His point has been ignored by many BOYS though. Mr. Bo says, "At that age, the desire and need for the GIRL is overpowering. You really cant blame them. Ulitmately, everyone will grow up." Everyone at SAMedia just hope that time flies faster and everyone grows up.

-- extracted from SamHub Times, SAMedia Publications. dated 020104